"Who replaced my printer with an angry cat?"

Spoken by: Todd

"Vanilla and sugar stick scented soap. Maybe I should just wash my hands with a cookie."

Spoken by: Todd.

"So, which time of the month is it? The one where you're trying to figure out how we're going to pay all our bills, or the one where you're cranky and demand cake?"

Spoken by: Todd

"I can't deal with surrealism before I have my coffee."

Said by: Todd

"I think she'll like this bible. It's written by James Earl Jones."

Said: Overheard in Barnes & Noble, over at the audio book section.

"Wonderful! If the uncontrolled vomiting isn't enough, I now have the hiccups!"

Said by: Friend

"The only way you're getting an intelligent conversation around here is if you start talking to yourself."

"I'll go and save the world. Meanwhile, you shriek in terror and set women back about fifty years."

Said by: Todd. (talking back to the TV)

"Gesh, all you two ever seem to watch are cult TV shows or documentaries. Every time I visit, I feel like I've walked in the middle of PBS pledge week."

Said by: Friend.

Todd said: How big was it? Quite a bit bigger than your common sense, but much, much, smaller than your stupidity.

Neighbor said: So, like it was the size of a bus?

Scribe's note... they were talking about a machine we (Todd and I) used to operate when we worked for the window company